"I love you" versus "愛しているよ"

Christmas is mainly for young couples and children in Japan. Many young couples want to have a romantic time because it is Christmas. I'm sure that younger women expect their boyfriends or husbands to put them in a romantic mood on Christmas.

Anyway, I often hear women from the West complaining that their Japanese boyfriends or husbands say sweet words to them much less frequently than they expect. Some Japanese women are frustrated with the same thing, as well. As you can see, generally, Japanese men are not good at making women happy with words. As for the phrase "I love you", I think that Japanese people, regardless of gender and age, hardly use it to express themselves. I suppose that the Japanese phrase "愛しているよ", which is the literal translation of " I love you", gives many Japanese people different impressions from those which "I love you" conveys. Some insist that they can easily say, "I love you" in English, but it's very hard to say 愛しているよ in Japanese not only to Japanese people but also to non-Japanese who can understand Japanese. I totally agree with them. On top of that, when Westerners say to me "I love you", I can take the phrase at face value. In contrast, when my Japanese boyfriend (or husband) seriously says to me "愛しているよ" in ordinary situations, I'll be surprised, wondering if there is something wrong with him. Needless to say, it depends on situations and people.

In American TV shows, the phrase "I love you" is always used between parents and their children. To be honest, I've never said to my parents "愛しているよ/ I love you" although I love them. If I said that, they would be so surprised that they would start worrying about me. As far as I remember, they've also never said to me ” 愛しているよ” although I've realized that they love me very much.

In Japanese culture, ambiguous expressions are often preferred, so Japanese people subconsciously try to sense what speakers imply even when they don't imply anything. Japanese people still tend to prefer expressing themselves and being expected to sense others' feelings without words. When Japanese people express how much they love their lovers, they use various expressions based on situations. I guess that these backgrounds make 愛しているよ a special phrase. I'm sorry I can't explain it well.

PS: Actually, "大好きだよ/ I like you very much" is much more common among couples. Given that and considering nuances 大好きだよconveys, 大好きだよ might be equivalent to "I love you" among couples.